Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Rock Rock Rock Till you Drop - The Rock 25/03/09 0400 (NZ Time) (24th UK)

here ya go, back to Kiwi stations heres The Rock

And now we have "Rock 40"s

Finger Eleven - One Thing
yes its kinda whiney but still not bad at all ***

Metallica - The Memory Remains
I guess you could say this is one of the songs that got me into Metallica since hey I was what 13-14 when it came out, so it was possibly the first Metallica I knew when it came out and yes its still a damn fine song as much as the "Load" albums get criticized ****

SHIHAD - Rule The World
I do love this song ***** still need the album though to import it would be kinda expensive for a CD

U2 - Where the Streets Have No Name
yes U2 are back getting loads of play again since they have a new album out, but still quite the classic tune ****

The Feelers - Beautiful Feeling
A bit of the best of both worlds from these guys, kinda mellow and then gets pretty rocking, and yes another NZ Artist where I need to pickup what they've done since I left NZ still hard to believe they've got a greatest hits, since hey the've been around 10 years so it works yes but dammit I remember when they first came out with Pressure Man

Luger Boa - On My Mind
alright *** one of the D4 members I see

Saw V the DVD of the week

ads

Live - Lightning Crashes
still classic ****

Disturbed - Stricken
all good ****

GNR - Novemember Rain
ahh the epic track, of course a classic ****

Snow Patrol - Take Back The City
its alright ***

Nirvana - The Man Who Sold The World
still classic ****

Finally - Midnight Youth - All On Our Own
not bad at all ***1/2

Writer's Block: Things You Don't Want to Know


If you knew that a friend's significant other was cheating on him or her, would you tell your friend the truth or keep it to yourself?


View other answers


Nope.  I wouldn't relieve that person of their responsibility.  I'd drag his or her punk ass out in front of my friend so they can own up to their betrayal themselves.  I'm a big believer in forcing ass clowns to accept responsibility for their own fucked up behavior no matter how afraid they are of the consequences.  They should have thought things through before they dropped their pants.

Clearly, I wouldn't be the one you would want to tell if you were cheating on one of my friends;)

Monday, March 23, 2009

The Book Bus

Just a quick link to The Book Bus Foundation and all of the fantastic work that they do. Founded by Tom Maschler, this small UK registered charity travels all over Zambia in their mobile library decorated by no other than Quentin Blake in his unique style. They take picture books, art equipment, puppets and musical instruments to the villages, orphanages and schools.


I can’t think of anything more fulfilling than giving a child the chance to form similar memories to the ones I still cherish from reading the likes of The BFG (my personal favourite)!!!! Remember snozzcumbers and whizzbangs and collecting dreams? The work of Roald Dahl and Quentin Blake are imprinted very deeply into my being and shouldn't every child have the chance to learn to read and to be magic-ed away into the world of childhood make believe through the pages of their very own book? A place that beyond a certain age, we can never return to but have every right to visit in the first place. 


The Book Bus provides books and bags of time. Time spent with the children reading, playing and delighting through art and story-telling. They also help set up reading clubs for all of this important stuff to continue well after they have gone. Take a look at their website, The Book Bus, doesn't every child deserve to read books by torchlight under your duvet when you should have been sleeping?

TM 274: What question do you most dread?

There is no question I dread. Without questions there are no answers. Without answers there are no choices. Without choices there are no consequences. Without consequence there is no meaning. Without meaning there is no life.

Have you ever seen the film Good Night and Good Luck? It was a few years back, nominated for a bunch of awards. George Clooney wrote it, directed it and acted in it and he was paid just $1 for each. I like George Clooney a lot. He stands for things. But that is not why I mention it. There is a scene between two supporting characters; they're married but they have to pretend they are not because of the rules of the business. It is an interesting subplot, but that is not why I bring it up either. Anyway, these two are involved on the sidelines of the debate between Edward R. Murrow and Senator Joe McCarthy -- they work with Murrow's show. And they have this scene:

Joe Wershba:
Here's a thought.
What if we're wrong?

Shirley Wershba:
We're not wrong.

Joe Wershba:
We're not going to look back...and say we protected the wrong side?

Shirley Wershba:
Protected them from what? In the name of what? What would we be preserving?

Joe Wershba:<br />Argument could be made, 'for the greater good'.

Shirley Wershba:
Not once you give it all away.
It's no good then.

Joe Wershba:
It's just a thought.

I also don't mention this to prove anything about myself or my convictions. I am, for the moment, more interested in the question what if we're wrong? I imagine a lot of people might dread that question because in order to act (to choose) we have to believe we are right. But I think it is more than that -- we also have to risk being wrong. I think it is better to act and be wrong than to be right and not act.

Contrary to what I conceive to be popular belief, I do not imagine I know all or better. I do, however, believe in what I know, what I experience and understand, and I make my decisions based on that knowledge and that belief -- even if I may be wrong. When I am wrong I am happy to admit it (if also angry and disappointed in myself; these emotions are not mutually exclusive) because I learn just as much (if not more) being wrong as I do being right. Failure does not rob something of its intrinsic value. I believe it to be nearly the opposite -- the risk of failure is what gives something its meaning. I love the questions and debate as much as I love the answers. Even if the answers cannot be known, I love the questions. Every question is valid. Every question is a gift.

4 days 'til my California vacation plus an amazing mini-excursion

Just about a week ago, I got the chance to take an amazing mini-excursion with a friend. That's right, I packed it all up, temporarily moved myself into an extended-stay suite, and found out just how awesome life can be when you take it in with a good friend. Even though I had to work some of the days, it was still a lot of fun. Once I'm able to write out the full entries of the days I spent with him, they might be backdated here. For now, however, I'm still working on trying to capture the full essence of the events of the 5 days. There are parts strewn here and there, and I'm still trying to bring it all together. That's why it's not up yet. Maybe soon.

The possibility exists that I might get cross-trained at the Special Effects Water Tank portion of the Backlot Tour here within the next few months as a part of my efforts to become a Coordinator for Backlands Attractions. If I can make it through that spiel-filled attraction and successfully assess there, then I can probably do the Shuttles portion of the tour as well, opening up the possibilities to get trained at Lights, Motors, Action!, Toy Story Midway Mania!, and a few other attractions as well. The prospect is scary, especially for the higher-tech attractions...but it'd be nice just to be able to move up instead of moving on and subsequently having to take a pay cut. It might just be the change in pace that I need.

Starting March 26th, I'll be out of town, taking a paid vacation with my mother out to California to take in Disneyland, Disney's California Adventure, and a few other California offerings as well. I certainly hope the weather will be nice. I will try and make a full report of my time out there as well. I return March 30th.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

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See also:
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Johnsoncekuh - http://johnsoncekuh.livejournal.com

Saturday, March 21, 2009

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The Plan (trailer)

SciFi wire have posted a sneak peak of the BSG movie THE PLAN.

Cylons have The Plan, and we've got an exclusive peek
Watch our exclusive clip from the upcoming Battlestar Galactica spinoff movie The Plan, directed by and starring Edward James Olmos. Jane Espenson wrote the screenplay.

The Plan - which will likely come out on DVD and will also air this fall - recaps the story of the destruction of the human Colonies from the point of view of the Cylons.

The cast also includes Michael Trucco, Aaron Douglas, Dean Stockwell, Tricia Helfer, Grace Park, Rick Worthy, Matthew Bennett, Callum Keith Rennie, Michael Hogan and Rekha Sharma.

Friday, March 20, 2009

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PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE let this story be true.  Apparently there are stories floating around that Rihanna’s personal version of Ike Turner has NUMEROUS home videos of the two of them in the sack.  Oh yeah, it appears that Rihanna is one that isn’t timid in the bedroom and occasionally likes to play dress up in what I’m certain is an adorable dominatrix outfit and playing the part to its fullest extent. 


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Rumor has it she is down with her sexuality but is absolutely horrified of the tapes getting out and finding a new audience on the internet.


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When will these girls learn that if you don’t want the world to see you having sex don’t fuck in front of a video camera?  Haven’t people learned enough from Kim Kardashian, Paris Hilton and the countless others that have lived to see their private moments broadcast to the world via the internet?


Thursday, March 12, 2009

Happy Kidney Day!

Good Morning Nerdwriters!
How are you today?
I'm excited cause almost all of my family is going to be in town on Sunday, and I have a very big family. My mom has 9 brothers and sisters most of whom have kids, who also have kids. There are so many frikin babies I forget who's who sometimes. Only problem is that I work on Sunday when they are all going out to play Demolition ball, wich is this fantabulous game involving bumper cars,wiffle balls,hoops and..that little scoop thingy. Whats that called? I'm trying to get off and this one girl is being really nice and going out of her way to help me. Only if she took my shift she'd be working 9 hours and that's not allowed so instead I need to call this other girl and see if she will stay for that one hour. I hope I get a hold of her. I'm starting to get really nervous cause certain things in my life are going really well for a change. So, yay?( I don't want to get too excited and jinx it)

Wow, I really didn't mean to blather on about my life and stuff,What I meant to talk about to day was the internet and why I love it so much and all my favorite places to hang out.
Hilary and I told you guys last night about FML. It's good for hours of fun although some of the stories aren't exactly...kid safe? Here are a few of my favorites:
Today, my girlfriend dumped me proclaiming she wanted someone more like her "Edward". I asked her who Edward was. She held up a copy her "Twilight" book. She was talking about a fictional vampire.

Today, I went to a movie with my boyfriend. In the lobby, I asked why the glasses were not working. I said, "Do they only work inside the theater?" My boyfriend replied, "3-D glasses just work inside the movie, everything else in the World is pretty much 3-D." FML

Today, I dropped my keys. Not wanting to lean over and pick them up, I pointed at them and said "Accio." Then I realized I had tried to use a Harry Potter spell in real life and in public. FML
Although I honestly don't know why the last person is so embarrassed. I do things like that on a daily biases.

Another thing i spend waaay to much time doing is reading web comics. My favorites are:
XKCD
The Ten Doctors
MNT Gaiden
and Head Trip
XKCD is a "webcomic of romance, sarcasm, math and language." It is like the ultimate nerd comic and if you haven't yet,, I suggest you check it out.
I think I've talked about the Ten Doctors beofre,but I'm just that obsessed with it. It's literally the first thing I check in the morning. The stories so good I just can't give this man enough love. ( ok that sounds funny creepy all typed up and not in my head.)
MNT Gaiden is a TMNT fan comic. It's set in the future and has a much darker tone than any of the toons. It also hasn't been updated in a while. I can''t wait for the 17th chapter.
HEADTRIP! I love this comic. It's about nerd girls being awesome. You should defiantly check this one out.
Hmm I think that's pretty much it,I mean you guys already know bout my addiction to twitter,LJ and youtube.
OH! awesome online series that I love:
The Guild and Unforgotten Realms.
The guild is written,produced and starred in by the wonderful Felecia Day. I do believe there's mention of it Commentary! The Musical.*hums its all about the arrt*
It's about a group of online gamers who meat up IRL and all the hilarity and madness that ensues.
Unforgotten Realms is an animation about table top gaming. The main character's name is Sir Shmoopy of Awesometon. How cool is that? There is much nonsense and epic adventure to be had.
Ok, I should probably stop now cause I could go on for ever.(wow I'm a huge F***ing nerd!)
DFTBA,
Nerdwriters.
QUESTIONS!
1. Like any web comics?
2. How big is your family. Do you guys do a lot together or not?
3. Ever play Demolition ball?
4. What are those scoop thingys called?
5. What were you doing right before you read this?


itunes dj google grand central

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Meme from Harriette...

Q: NAME A FRIEND WHO'S NAME STARTS WITH A (that should be "an" /pedant) "A"
A: Adnan (or as the teacher called him much to both of our amusement yesterday, Adrian)

Q: 4TH PERSON ON YOUR MISSED CALLS:
A: Says I've missed none...that can't be right. This phone is weird. It also has a big crack down the screen so it's probably been mentally scarred in some way :(.

Q: WHAT DID THE LAST TEXT MESSAGE YOU RECEIVED SAY?:
A: "simon, in what room are you?"

Q: DO YOU CHEW ON YOUR STRAWS?
A: Drink and chew occasionally. I like to find other uses for something that technically only has one known use.

Q: DO YOU HAVE CURLY HAIR?
A: Curly at the ends. It looks silly and I blame genetics.

Q: WHAT IS THE NEXT CONCERT YOURE GOING TO?
A: Blur at Hyde Park.

Q: WHO IS THE COOLEST PERSON IN YOUR LIFE?
A: Jon Hudson.

Q: WHAT WORD DO YOU SAY A LOT?
A: Tired.

Q: WHAT IS THE LAST THING YOU ATE:
A: A Dairylea sandwich.

Q: WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU SAID TO SOMEONE AND WHO WAS IT?
A: In real life? Erm...probably goodbye.

Q: DO YOU WATCH TV?
A: Nah, I've gone off it. I get what I need to watch off t'internet nowadays.

Q: HAVE YOU SEEN THE MOVIE DONNIE DARKO?
A: Yeah. It was one of those "isn't amazing as people say it is but good to watch anyway" films. Jake was better in Brokeback Mountain by far.

Q: DO YOU HAVE WORK TOMORROW?
A: Got a project meeting, aye.

Q: EVER BEEN HUNTING?
A: Why the fuck would I want to do that? One of my old science teachers went hunting and he cut off the head of a pheasant in front of everybody in the class...not nice.

Q: IS MARRIAGE IN YOUR FUTURE?
A: Nope. As a sidenote, I urge you all to listen to "The Marriage" by Billy Bragg.

Q: WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAID, "I LOVE YOU" AND MEANT IT?
A: I only ever say it in a friendly manner. Can't remember the last time though. Probably recently.

Q: WHAT SHOULD YOU BE DOING RIGHT NOW?:
A: Working on my website but instead I'm going to watch South Park. Yo got a problem with that, punk?! Huh?!

Q: DO YOU HAVE A NICKNAME?
A: Walpole, Mr. Walpole, Si and Simo are the current ones. Past ones were Big Si, Rehab Si (never got why I was called those two), Wally Walpole and Mr. Burns.

Q: DO YOU BELIEVE IN LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT?
A: It's only lust to begin with. Love is what happens when you gradually get to know the person in question. So no.

Q: WHO'S THE YOUNGEST ONE IN THE FAMILY ?
A: My sister. She's 10 and is fantastic :).

Q: IS DRUG FREE THE WAY TO BE?
A: Depends. It can provide funtiems and memorable times too.

Q: ARE YOU A HEAVY SLEEPER?
A: I don't think so. I wake up a lot during the night for about 2 minutes and then go back to sleep. My sleeps are always interrupted by literally nothing.

Q: DO YOU CLEAN UP NICE?
A: Can't say I try either.

Q: LAST TIME YOU USED A SKATEBOARD?
A: About 6 years ago. We had a day at high school where people were allowed to bring skateboards in and my friend dismantled his and used it to surf on the ice outside. I had a go and fell onto the cold concrete. Ouch.

Q: WHERE WAS THE LAST PLACE YOU SLEPT BESIDES YOUR HOUSE?
A: Glasgow.

Q: EVER RUN OUT OF GAS ON THE ROAD?
A: I've never been in a car that has done that. Burst tyres, yes.

Q: BEST MOVIE YOU'VE SEEN IN THE PAST TWO WEEKS?
A: American Psycho. Blinding.

Q: DO YOU THINK PEOPLE WHO COME UP WITH DUMB QUIZZES ARE CRYING FOR HELP IN SOME TWISTED WAY?
A: Do you think you've thought a bit too much into this?

Best
1. Male friend: Not answering. Don't believe in ordering people like that.
2. Female: Not answering. Don't believe in ordering people like that.
3. Vacation: That I've been to? Corfu probably. This was back in the days where excessive heat didn't piss me off.
4. Day of the week: Thursday. LOST DAY! :D
5. Food: Cheese.
6. Memory: It would put even a goldfish to shame.

Today
1. Is: A day where I need to get some work done.
2. Got any plans: Social ones? Manchester at the end of this month, going to see Vaughan at the first weekend in April and possible clubbing with Sophie.
3. Goal: To pass my degree this year, get a placement and do Bsc Hons Computing after that. If I don't get a placement then I'm hoping to head straight onto Bsc Hons Computing.
4. Dislikes about tomorrow: Don't have any.

Favorites
1. Number: I don't have one.
2. Song: Eep. Currently I think it's "Hello It's Me" by Lou Reed and John Cale.
3. Color: Fluctuates between red and blue.
4. Season: Autumn. It's leafy.

Currently
1. Missing someone: A few people, yes, but that'll soon be satisfied.
2. Mood: Slightly awake.

True or False
I am a morning person: What's a morning?
I am a perfectionist: In some ways, yes. I think I always strive to be a better person anyway.
I am an only child: No. One sister and one brother.
I am currently in my pajamas: Damn right.
I am very shy around the opposite gender: I used to be but not so much anymore. I feel I share more in common with girls than blokes overall.
I can be paranoid at times: Definitely :D.
I currently regret something that I have done: Haha, loads.
When I get mad I curse frequently: I did so yesterday but I kept it a bit hushed.
I have a lot to learn: "yeah but i like learning!" - KEPT!

Simon :)

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Saturday, March 7, 2009

Put-In Revelation

Today was the start of put-in for Pericles, the show I'm lighting designer for, (which you should come to see in the next couple of weeks at MIT if you have the chance). It's been relatively low stress, mainly because the Ensemble is reaching a level of cadre where there are enough experienced people around that all the different disciplines have been planned out and work together. Here's hoping we can hold that together.

At some point during put-in I completed a rather odd accumulation of "effusive displays of affection" triggered in unusual ways from an interesting range of theater people around here. In order of occurrence:

1) Homosexual Male - states that he wants to have my children because I bring good sake to cast parties.
2) Heterosexual Female - states that she loves me because I bring sliced pepper-crusted turkey breast to put-in.
3) Heterosexual Male - states that he loves me because I brought an extra drill to put-in.
4) Homosexual Female - states that she wants to have my children because I looked impressive climbing down scaffolding.

Any conclusions to be drawn from this are left as an exercise to the reader.

drum roll...

I always fall behind....

Happy (belated) birthdays to [info]twochicsinbham, [info]watersaredeep, [info]starrchilde and [info]tempesttea (though I did get to see her lovely self on her birthday).

And a happy birthday tomorrow to the always terrific [Bad username: the wordoffred], who I look forward to seeing in Nashville in June! I've been a guest to Hypericon every year since its inception, and each year he sighs and says, "Okay, I guess we'll have you back one more time..." You'd think he didn't like me or something. :)

Happy birthday to my dear friends, and to any who foolishly don't tell LJ their birthdays and therefore escape our good wishes.

Sick


Sick

He’s sick of her memory.

He’s sick of her memory, he sat there, in the middle of the night. Sick of the sounds of flats on the floor. Sick of smiling too much during sex last night. Sick of the smell of cheap fabric, and the smell of coffee beans at 5 a.m in the morning. Sick of a refridgerator packed with organic foods. He was sick of her filling his mind. Her blonde hair, and cheeky smile. The perfect fit for a kindergarten teacher. What kind of person would punish such an innocent soul? He was sick of the vodka. Whisky got old fifteen minutes ago, and the vodka was starting to taste like water.

Too much to drink makes you hallucinate.

Too much to drink made him hallucinate. Taking pills with booze makes everything spin out of control. Daniel Meade does not learn from his mistakes. He just likes to make them. He heard the bathtub filling with water. He stumbled into the bathroom, his eyes set on the blue-ish water flooding into the porcalin tub. The water was filling up higher and higher…until it became the sea, and the sea was flooding the room. His head spun, and he closed his eyes. The water was not going away. The salty water filled his mouth…and he wanted to take this opportune moment to drown his sorrow, but instead his pride sinks to the very bottom.

“Start writing your will.”

“Start writing your will,” she said last night sarcastically. “What? Why?” He had asked. “Because…if you keep living like this over that little bitch you’re gonna die soon.” She rolled her eyes. “If I write my will; are you going to stop keeping me alive.” He said. “Maybe.” She responded, and the pen flew fifteen stories out the window.

Sleeping makes you senseless.

Sleeping makes him senseless. Especially when warm bodies are tangled together. He doesn’t need to remember who he did last night. She’ll still be there when he wakes up in the morning. He’s sick of waking up to an empty room with an empty bed. Or rumpled covers, but only the warmth of a big empty spot. The person who slept there shortly had disappeared, knowing that they were only stupid. Stupidity is a good word to relate with Daniel Meade. He is still in his sleep, as a result of alcohal. She only sleeps next to him to make sure he remains conscious.

“Don’t you dare open those curtains.”

“Don’t you dare open those curtains.” He says first thing in the morning. He forgets for a split second who he’s talking to. She tears open the curtains anyway. Her stilettos tap all the way out of the room. Heels are a good change. For a moment, he thinks she’s left, and he pouts. Moments later, she returns. He hears a clinking spoon, and extra weight on the bed. He opens one eye, squinting, he looks at the cherrios in the white plastic bowl. “Can I have Frosted Flakes instead?” She rolls her eyes and says loudly, “beggers can’t be choosers.” He doesn’t argue and shoves the metal spoon into her mouth. He doesn’t remember smiling during the sex.

Maybe what he needs is stilettos.

Maybe what he needs is stilettos. The smell of Prada. The smell of coffee beans at 3 a.m in the morning to cure his headache. A fridge with nothing it but mineral water. He almost missed the evil, manipulative smile she posessed. The perfect fit for a magazine editor. Her dark hair, and signiture glare. Why hadn’t she been punished yet? What kind of person has never wanted her dead? Vodka didn’t get old if the person you were drinking with and you were drunkenly playing a fucked up game of truth or dare. There were no needless smiles during sex. He didn’t mind her filling his mind. He smirked. He wouldn’t get sick of her, Willhelmina Slater. His daily dose of bitch. His new way of getting rid of sick kindergarten teachers.

He can’t possibly get sick of this.

He can’t possibly get sick of this.

Finally, My New Website is Finished!!

I have been working real hard on changing the image of my business, giving it a brand new look and name.  I wanted a name a little more personal and close to my heart.  Here's the story:  When I was a little girl, my Grandpa really wanted my mom to name me Carri Jayne.  She decided not to, I am Carri Dawn, but he didn't care.  He called me Carri Jayne anyway, all my life.  Grandpa passed away when I was 14 and a lot of my best childhood memories involve him.  When I had my daughter, naturally her name had to be Haley Jayne.  It's just has such sentimental meaning to me.  So, I called Amy last summer and told her I needed help coming up with something new, and in 30 minutes she had it.  I never even thought of it.  I owe her. Big time.  So, here's the new logo, Amanda at Amandaedesigns.blogspot.com came up with it for me and I just love it.  The new website is:


www.carrijayne.com   Mark it to your Favorites, the old site will work for just a little while.


Let me know what you guys think!!


CJP_logo_clr

It's Hard Being A Guy


A couple of days ago, my students and I watched a dvd documentary about V- Day.  V-Day is an international movement designed to end violence against women.  The movement originated from the "Vagina Monologues," by playwright, actress and activist, Even Ensler.  Her original one woman show described  the various experiences of women, i.e. relationships, sexuality, menstruation, rape and so forth, as it connects to the vagina.  In fact, a V-Day movement slogan is that the "vagina is not a dirty word."

At present, all of my students are women with the exception of one man who was unexpectantly absent the day I showed the dvd.  In his defense, the male student did not know the planned subject for the group, as I changed the scheduled events after watching the dvd the day prior.  I decided to show the dvd after a previous clinical discussion when one of the students shared her experience of being dismissed by men on the basis of her gender.

Growing up in family with a lot of outspoken women, I was not completely unprepared for the candor with which the women described their experiences.  I was surprised regarding the commonality of brutality, violence, and over all shaming that many women felt, be they white, black, Latina, Native American, or Asian.  It was rather startling to hear actresses Selma Hayeck  and Rosie Perez indicate they too had been abused.    By the way, while this is not politically correct, and I am embarrassed, somewhat, to admit that I was strangely excited hearing various women talk about orgasms, sex, and other revelatory admissions with regard to their vaginas.  Incidentally, Selma Hayeck is gorgeous!

My students were largely open in their sharing with each other and with me  They had a wide range of feelings expressed through laughter, tears, and silence.  Listening to them talk, I realized have never had the experience of the kind of intimate sharing with men that they, as women, seem to have with each other.  I wondered whether it was truly possible to celebrate male sexuality in light of the way that many women are finding ways to do with each other. 

One of the students dismissed my comment by saying that given the patriarchal system with which we exist (my words, not hers), male sexuality was already being celebrated.  Rather ironic in a discussion regarding being inclusive of women's experiences that my experience as a man would be excluded.  While I understand my student's sentiment, I disagree.  I will concede her assertion that patriarchy is a vile system that oppresses women.  I would offer that it oppresses men, even if women are disproportinonately impacted by it.  I think male sexuality, as it is generally represented in the popular medium, happens within a pornographic context.  At least, that is what it looks like from the Cinemax soft-core porn movies my guy friends have told me about, he wrote tongue in cheek.

The value of male sexuality is reduced to the size of his organ and  his ability to use it well.  Performance, not intimacy, and physical attributes are the defining characteristics by which men are encouraged to understand themselves.  The standard is not emotional availability, spiritual maturity, or anything potential resembling an integrated sense of one's self.  Some mental health problems arise out of the inability to be an integrated self and the inability to then be in relationship with others, because the integrated self is lacking. 

Imagine then the low self-esteem and perhaps the ensuing anger and violence when men act out that cannot meet the standards of being a man as popularly perceived?  What are the consequence of men who are told to sell their soul in exchange for shallow interactions with other men and women.  It reduces a man to being a dick. Patriarch is a system that does not work for  women or men.  Rather, it seems only to fuck us both in the end.

My sense is that when men do share their experiences about life, relationships, sex , etc., it mainly happens with their female counterparts.  And, there is only so much most men are going to say to women about what it feels like being a man.  Besides, how many women are open to hearing men divulge their innermost fears and insecurities that comes with being a man.  I remember once pretending to cry for a woman believing she would perceive me as sensitive.  She saw me as weak.  Then, she got mad when she realized I was just playing.  It was a double bind situation. 

Most men rarely open up to other men.  Men are often very lonely regardless of whom they know and whom they call friends. I am envious that woman are able to relate to each other the way that they do. Despite what I have written though, I am not going to talk with my male friends in the same way.  That just ain't manly.

Risque Rhymin'

IC Date: Day 18, Month 2, Turn 19, 10th Interval
Players: Ananta & Rimara
Location: High Reaches Weyr
Synopsis: Ananta comes into the Snowasis to find Rimara. The girls sit down and chat, and make up risque limericks, before they talk maps. OOC Date: 07 Mar 09. WARNING: Some language may be offensive.


Snowasis,
Afternoon

The Snowasis is rarely quiet, and even then, the high-ceilinged former weyr is kept from echoing by the fantastical booths tucked into its convoluted perimeter. The secluded seating spaces have been shaped from the truncated stalagmites that escaped the smoothing of the main floor, and are both softened and separated by colorful hangings that are thick and opaque enough to make each corner its own private nook.
Some of the smaller stalactites still roam the ceiling, their jagged teeth tracing a bumpy, inverted spine to the hearth. There, a thick rug with a low klah table and comfortable armchairs and couches sit, their upholstery and cushions changed sporadically to match the season: bright, light colors in the summer, fresh greens and yellows in the spring, warm autumnals in fall, and clear, rich hues for winter. Small tables litter the rest of the cavern, enough to fit up to four people each, while stools stand along the smooth wooden bar behind which is the passthrough window to the kitchen. Glass-paneled cabinetry behind the bar provides a clear view of the available liquors, the many colors reflecting the soft light of glows tucked into strategic niches around the cavern.


While hardly the busiest time of the day, afternoon nonetheless sees a few patrons in Snowasis. Rimara doesn't come on duty until the evening, but she's been asked to do a few things by the bartender, so she's ensconced at a table in the back. There's a mug of tea beside her, and a clean piece of hide being worked on. Ink, pen and straight-edge are lying in waiting. At the moment, she's scribbling on another piece of hide, this one often scraped. Humming softly to herself, her foot's tapping to the jaunty tune as she writes something down. The other barmaid is waiting on the few patrons, while the bartender's more or less falling asleep at the bar. Yeah, it's a jumping joint for certain.

It should be the prime time for Ananta to be getting some chores done, instead she's sloughing. Not really a huge shock. She's spent some of the morning in the records room, working on a hide. That's the yellowed bit in her hand. It looks to be some kind of map. As she enters Snowasis, her eyes do a quick look around and land on Rimara's familiar face. She lifts a hand in a small wave, hoping for eye contact, and makes a bee-line for the back table.

She's in luck. Rimara takes that moment to look up, and there's a smile for her younger friend. When Ananta arrives at her table, Rimara smiles. "Haven't seen you for a few days. Been busy?" she asks, moving her papers and hides to make room for the girl. "Care for something warm? It's bitter out there today." She gives a shiver. "I can't seem to get warm, at least. Wish this place had a hearth." If Ananta cares to look, the top hide appears to be, of all things, limericks!

Seeing the smile, Ananta smiles back, "Hey Rimara!" She reaches for a chair to help herself to a seat...pauses, trying to remember manners with a quick, "is it ok?" A gesture towards the chair "to join you, or are you busy?" Ananta's brought an extra sweater in her bag, which she pulls out. "Well, you are in luck! Do you want to use this? It might not smell great, it's been sitting in the kitchen for a few days. Busy, yes. I've been holed up in the records room nonstop." Then for the sweater, "At least it's warm, and such a nice shade of purple." And then a glance at the limericks. "Ooh, what are those?"

Rimara chuckles. "Thanks," she says, for the sweater, accepting it and pulling it on over her clothes. "No, I'm not busy, just came in a bit early so I could do some things for him," she says, nodding toward the bartender. "I'm all but done. He just has to okay a few things, and then it's all copying." She listens, nodding in all the appropriate places. "Well, it's nice to see you. I almost went up to your room the other day, but I wasn't sure if I could find it again. Anyway, good to see you." Then, "These?---oh, limericks, song lyrics, whatever you want to call them."

Ananta gives a little grin of satisfaction. "I'm glad I just saw it then, if it can keep you from being cold." She also listens and bobs her head in the right places. A little lift of her eyebrows for the limericks...song lyrics "So, what are these ones about?" Nosy? Never.

"Various things," Rimara replies, grinning. "Actually, they're really quite naughty. It's an old sea chanty my father's sailors used to sing. I just adapted them for a weyr." A single-shoulder shrug. "Wasting time, really, but they're kind of funny." She picks up the sheet, an almost evil glint in her eyes. In a soft voice, she says, "We're riders from High Reaches, we drink our booze like leeches. We're quick to fight, an' get laid ev'ry night, an' frequently lose our breeches." She gives a quick look around, making certain no one overheard her little funny.

Hand to mouth! A laugh makes it's way through Ananta's fingers, "You're bad." is whispered. Wouldn't want to hurt her new friends new reputation. "I hope you've got more." Ananta has already sat down and is now leaning in, "Did you know I've heard some good ones, but they always go in as quickly as they go out." A tap on her lips, "Ok, tell me another..."

Another quick glance around. Safey first. "All right, though I warned you," Rimara says. "Our Weyrleader's a right bad fellow, who's anything, but seldom mellow. He's quite a banger, and quick to anger, and gives orders with a bellow." Yeah, better not let N'thei hear that one.

Another round of hushed laughter, "You better watch it lady." Laughter quieting and a smile, "OK, now I'm going to try one: There once was a place called the Snowasis, it's booze was drank by the cases, the Weyrleader and a staff, were playing in the back"...pause..."when his cruel Mistress slipped in and caught witness."

Rimara smothers a laugh, snorting with unladylike gusto. "Oh, that's cute, too. Let me jot it down, all right? I'll add it to the rest of the lyrics." She takes her pen, dipping it quickly into the ink, scribbling on the scraped hide. "The only others I have are a bit ... well, really naughty." She picks up the hide, turning it sideways where she's written another limerick. "A greenrider by name of T'donzer; that bold and clever bonzer. Shoved broken glass, inside his ass, and castrated a 'bronzer!" Before she's through, she's added another. "Junior Weyrwoman named Mabel, though young was still quite able, to fornicate, but at second rate, upon the council room table." She sets the hide down. "I don't much like the last one, but limericks aren't supposed to be grand, epic poetry."

Dirty indeed, Ananta is blushing now. "You've got to teach me some more of those!" The map sitting on her lap, "Much better than rewriting history." And back to her limerick "I wanted to say something about her breaking a bottle over his head---but it didn't seem to rhyme" She starts to hum something, "Do any of these come with a tune?" Not that we want to hear Ananta singing.

"Oh, sure," Rimara says, and begins to hum that same lilting tune as before. It's a catchy little melody. "Most of the ones I know are kind of risque at the least, but, remember, they're usually not sung around women. Sailors sing them while working on the boats, to liven things up. There are other songs which are kind of sad, but they're rarely sung to entertain. I learned them all from sailor on my father's ship, or those who came into mother's tavern. I suppose I've forgotten a good many of them." She seems to wax nostalgic for a few minutes. "Anyway..." A pause. "Were you carrying something when you came in?---other than the sweater, of course."

"Oh yes..." Ananta holds up the map. "This is what I'm suppose to be working on today." Suppose to be. "But, I'm here learning dirty sailor songs." The map goes up on the table, turned in Rimara's direction. "See it's of the weyr...looks to be about 100 turns old. Needs to be redrawn since the ink is fading. The hide's falling apart." A shoulder "Ah, who cares about that...do you have any good sailor stories from your Dad?"

Rimara's attention goes immediately to the weyr-map, and it's not easy to draw her away. "Oh, what a shame," she says, an expression of concern on her face. She peers at the hide, being careful not to touch it too much or too often. "This is a beautiful piece of work. Very sad to see it so mistreated." The girl loves her hide-work, no doubt about it. She looks up at Ananta. "I can re-draw it for you, but it won't have the same colors. We can't quite match those inks, now." She's so into the map it takes her a moment to realize Ananta's asked her another question. "Hm?---oh, yes, I guess so. They're not all funny, though. Most of them are pretty grim, all things considered. The sea's a very treacherous mistress."

"It is beautiful, I don't like seeing old records mistreated either. It's a shame." Ananta slides it in Rimara's direction, "Can you see it well enough? If you could redo it for the weyr that would be great. I'm not such a steady hand." Her finger points to the ocean on the map--"yes, her mercy is missing". A treacherous mistress indeed. "I lost a couple good friends to that wench." Her eyes seem to look through the table for a moment.

Rimara is equally quiet for a moment. "So have I," she murmurs, then clears her throat. "I think anyone who has family who goes to sea has lost someone." Change the subject. "I'll get on this ... oh, probably tomorrow. It's my next day off, and I'll be able to get into the records room where there'll be plenty of quiet space. And, yes, I can see it well enough. I've a magnifying glass in my satchel for the parts that are too faded." She purses her lips. "I can also cross-reference any of the other weyrmaps in the archives, as well."

A shift and nod. "So, can I help you with it? Or...watch you work on it? Maybe you could show me some of your techniques." A look down, "So, I've got to get going in a bit. Maybe grab something to eat...heardbeast and tubers sounds good tonight." An invitation to grab dinner. "We could continue with our limericks, quietly of course." A broad smile and question mark.

"Sure, you're welcome to do either---watch or help," Rimara assures her. "Why don't you hang onto this one, and leave it where I can find it tomorrow morning?" she suggests. At that moment, the bartender comes up, clearing his throat. "I'd better not. I think I'm going to be working. You have a good dinner," she says, then glances over to the bartender. "Ready, Saam?" Apparently so, since the man gives her a nod. "See you tomorrow, then," she says, reaching out for the list Saam holds out to her.

Lolitas Watch the Watchmen

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Wore my new skirt last night to "Watchmen!" I got it in trade with [info]lolibunny, and I love it, although I'm still perfecting the coordinate. The shoes and socks seem wrong to me. Maybe pink shoes with black OTKs? Or pink OTK socks with the red shoes? Ideas are welcome, 'cause I love this skirt, but it's a more challenging coordinate than my other outfits (unless I want to go super simple).

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Rundown:
Skirt, cardi, headbow, socks and bunny-bag: Baby, the Stars Shine Bright
Blouse: F+F
Shoes: Secret Shop
Sweets Jewelry: [info]faunkegin

Friday, March 6, 2009

The truth is not kind, and you said neither am I

I'm *fairly* sure my nose is higher up on my face than it was yesterday. Mysterious. I wonder where it is going?

Saw Watchmen last night... it was pretty good. It didn't blow me away, but neither did the comic. I think they're both pretty solid, though.

I was distracted for the parts of the film when the elder Silk Spectre was on screen because I *knew* I knew her from somewhere but I couldn't peg where. As I was falling asleep I recalled she was on a short-lived show on Space, and today I remembered that show was called "Threshold". Victory is mine!

Today I go to the first non-Aisling game night. I remembered when I thought of asking him if he'd seen it, and then recalled he wouldn't be there. Prolly for this best, his movie opinions are wack sometimes. Though not as wack as Shims.... and Gareth just takes the cake. Since we are now down to four players, I brought some of my favourite 4P games. I'm pretty happy I'll get to play them more...

Tomorrow I am idly considering going shopping for a skirt or two. I just seems a shame to hide away all these awesome socks I have! But something about skirts and me is a no go. I think it's pretty rare they suit me. It's not really being self-conscious about wearing them or anything, I just find it rare to try one on that suits me. We shall see...

I can't decide how I'm feeling towards mason these days.

While he was gone on detail the last couple of weeks I really missed him and kept thinking of things I wanted to share with him. When he visted at the endof jan things were SO SO good and I really loved having him here and we talked about the future and things that we'd do when he visited next. And then he left for detail and when he got back last thursday he was back to being abrasive and annoying online. Maybe its jjust that we not good at digital communication. Or I'm too semsative or paranoid. One of the biggest things I'm struggling with right now is that I am afraid to tell him how I'm feeling most days. For example I texted him last night to see what his weekend looked like and he told me and then asked why. I told him because the weather was nice so it would nice if hecould come up . When really I wanted to say BECAuse I miss you that's why.

We must have exchanged 25 texts last night when I as looking at hotels and he was so far from helpful that I told him that we should just screw it and he can ask around for another time and he was like it's a hotel just pick one that looks cheap. I told him that I wasn't going to do anytimg until he knew for sure and he was like I should know by 5 at the latest and I said that 5 was pretty late to start a five or six hour drive and his response was nobody goes out until 10 anyway.

I am scared that I'm going drive 10+ hours and he's going to blow me off. And I'm scared to tell him this for fear of looking needy or insecure. Except I am insecure.

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